Boundaries...

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves,

even when we risk disappointing others.

“Brene Brown”

Let’s talk about a skill set that we often forget is so vital to our mental, emotional, and physical well-being; healthy boundaries are essential. They are often shaped by family dynamics, cultural expectations, life experiences, and the yearning for social acceptance.

We are conditioned from a young age to adjust our internal boundaries. Think of the strong-willed two-year-old or the defiant teenager that comfortably says no, yet still somehow their boundaries shift and they begin to compromise to more consistent yesses. This then shifts to over-compromising and pleasing to benefit others, and this is when personal boundaries are lost. We forget we matter in the equation and place the needs of others ahead of our own. As a result, we burn out, become easily stressed, feel anxious, run on an empty tank, and ignore physical symptoms at the cost of pleasing others. We have fallen into the trap of too much “yes” and too little “no”. 

So how do we tell unhealthy boundaries, they can look something like this:

•       You self-sacrifice to avoid conflict.

•       You are left with little to no time for yourself; me-time is riddled with guilt.

•       You say “yes” when you really want to say “no”.

•       You are depleted from over-giving.

•       You hold back your own truth.

If you recognize yourself in this list, I have a small challenge for you. Start to identify your “boundary-busters”, these are people or situations that consistently cross your personal, emotional, and physical limits. Now make a list of all the ways your boundaries are crossed by these “busters” and pick one to shift and stand firm on.

The more you identify and place boundaries back into your life, the more you will shift to the genuine version of yourself. Stand firm on those boundaries, they can be a game changer in your life.